Some Days are Better than other....

Today was a "other" type of day. I work 7p-7a so lets start there. My night at work was absolutely awful. The RNs thought I was going to have to go to ER because they thought I was having a panic attack. My heart rate, bp, respiration, and blood sugar jumped up. I have never had a feeling like that before. I ran the entire night. It was a long awful night; I couldnt get caught up. I was constantly busy. Most nights things die down from 2-4 so I can get caught up on charting and little other things. Not last night. Then my people that relieve me showed up and clocked-in 30 minutes late. It started off rough at 7:30 when I got off and has continued that way. When I got home I checked some of our lovely online "social networking" site (Aka. Blogger.com, Facebook, and Twitter).......skkkkerrrk. Let me back up.

*Sidenote: Somethings happened a few months back that have turned my world upside down. Some days are better than other with coping with what happened. It's a struggle everyday. I hate how good Ive gotten at acting like Im ok, but to be honest I am wreck. Even after three or so months Im still a wreck. Sometimes its a chore just to wake up and sometimes its just an after thought. Today this particular struggle was a huge burden and roadblock. Ok, back to the story.*

Ok, So I checked my normal websites and saw things that triggered the emotions. I was to tired to fight crying so it just happened. I slept from 8:30 until 1:30. When I woke up I immediately started crying. I sobbed. Not like little ones, like ones that make your eyes so red that it looks like someone cold-clocked you in the eyes. I tried to sober and I couldnt. The more I tried to stop cryin, the worse I cried. I went downstairs. My Dad was really worried and at first I couldnt catch my breath to tell him what was wrong. When I finally spoke all I could get out was, "Some days are harder than others." My Dad and I worked out together and that helped so much. Then I got alone again and then began the water works again. So I decided to stop letting myself be alone. I called two friends and invited them over to watch the premier of Chuck. We didnt do anything, but it was the pick me up I needed. We ate, talked, and watched t.v. It meant the world to me that one of them came over just because I told him I had a bad day.

Yes, now that I am alone, I am crying again. I know that I am a strong person, but sometimes it doesnt feel that way. Sometimes I feel like I can't get out of bed. Today was one of those days. So all I am asking is for prayers. Pray that I can get over this hurdle. Pray that my heart can heal. Thank you for your prayers. Today wasnt a great day, but tomorrow is a clean slate. Tomorrow is a different day. Tomorrow just like today is a gift from God. Tomorrow is just what I need.

"Just thinking about tomorrow
cleares away the cobwebs and the sorow
'till their none
when i'm stuck with a day that's gray and lonely
i just think of my chin and grin and say oh
the sun'll come out tomorrow
so you gotta hang until tomorrow
come what may
tomorrow tomorrow i love ya tomorrow
your always a day away "

Tomorrow is only 30 minutes away. I love yall. God Bless.